Wise Quotes From Russia

“Kto-to sidit vot?”

“Kapitan Gook”

“Hilary Duff definitely has fake teeth. I watched an episode of Lizzie Maguire the other day. Those are definitely not the same teeth.”

“Fatso Raven. That face she used to make when she had a vision.”

“Rufus, the naked mole rat.”

“Did Avril Lavigne and Nickelback get married? That’s a laughable couple.  They both probably performed at the wedding. The guests ears fell off..”

“Ya she studied here all summer, but she still doesn’t understand anything.” *Shakes head* “I just don’t understand those people.”

“Хочешь играть в шахматы?” (Do you want to play chess?) Reply: “I’ve been studying in Russia all summer.”

“How are we going to cross that pond?”

“What do you do when an extra long fry comes up? What do you do in that situation?”

“What’s a dacha again? Oh, isn’t that like a beach house?”

“Ochen’ spasibo”

“I’m not one of those Iranians…” “You’re not Iranian at all!”

“So the other day we were standing in a dark alley. Just standing there. And we saw these people, so we just stood and watched them in the dark.”

“ha HA HA” *with accent*

“Your borsch-making days could start tomorrow.”

“Ya seksi i ya znayu! viggl viggl viggl viggl viggl DA!”

“Noodle!” *accent*

“I’m a native speaker, not a native writer.”

“I’ll be your Vamp!”


“I’m going to hide my face like a turtle.”

“I was going to go on that other escalator, but then I figured you’d be doing something stupid so I didn’t want to be all the way over there and laughing by myself.”

“The grass was washed.”

“She knows that we’re American and, therefore, weird.”

Professor: If you get in trouble, or if you need help, you don’t go to the police here.
Students: Why??
P: Because it’s rude.
S: What if someone’s robbing a bank? Shouldn’t we tell the police?
P: No, it’s not your business. That’s why people from Finland are whiners. Whenever Russians do something, they go tell the police.

Professor: “I went to the room and no one was there, so I came down here to get coffee. Are you guys all waiting for me?”

“It’s good if people have strong opinions about what they believe in. Even if they’re completely wrong.”

Professor: я понимаю, что Россия, это “country of idiots”. But I am Russian, and I try to think of them as better than they are.

“Annie if you ask me, I think Americans are the weirdest people in this world. I don’t think Russians have anything like reddit.com.”

“Meow, meow, meow”

Tour Guide to Student: You have to leave early right? When you leave the Kremlin you need to go out that way between those two buildings and you’ll see the exit.
Student: Ok. What if I get lost?
Tour Guide: Don’t worry, you won’t. They’ll shoot you.

“You can’t have anything without corruption.”

“It doesn’t matter if it’s 200 years old or 1,000; there’s always corruption in Russia.”

“In Russian culture, a smile is the sign of a strange person.”

“Right now if you want to have your own business and not pay anyone, it’s impossible.”

“Russia has free healthcare, but it’s not the best.  If you can afford to go to a clinic (paid) and buy better medicine, you are part of the middle class.”

“Many English words are coming to Russia, though Russia has its own words.”

American Student: What do you think is the best age to get married?
Russian Student: Well in my experience, it’s when the girl gets pregnant.

Me: I’m tired of chocolate.
Teacher: I don’t understand.

Professor: Good guys in Russia are rare and not handsome.  The girls are pretty, but the men are awful.

Professor: You guys have that stupid blonde girl..Paris Hilton.

“It’s not important if the woman is very smart. Actually it may be better if she’s a little dumb.”

“In order to have democracy, you need to shoot the Parliament.”

“Just remember that Putin and Medvedev were communists.”

“There is no idiot-free zone in Russia.”

Wife: If you don’t want to live with me, say goodbye to your kids.

“In Russia, people don’t want to work hard like in the West. You have to be in the right place at the right time.”

“Almost everyone was a criminal in the ’90s.”

“We don’t trust institutions and moreover we don’t trust the state.”

“If you want Russians to do something, just create a rule and tell them not to do it.”

“Sometimes when you read Russian laws, it’s funny.”

“Sometimes you can control me, and other times I’ll do what I want, but it will still be your fault.”

“If Russia didn’t have corruption, no one would work.”

“You’re a good specialist. You can go to any country.”
“No, but then I’ll have to work.”

Russia has two allies: The Russian Army and the Russian Navy.

“People in China are lazy, like Russians. Like all Eastern people.”

“Russians will work hard if they motivate themselves. They will just imitate activity if someone pushes them.”

“Test will have questions from test.”

“In Russian culture, it’s shameful to show your emotions.”

“People tend to believe more in a lie that is beautiful than the truth.”

“Are there other stereotypes for America? Hardworking. This isn’t good for Russia.”



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